psychology

Work mode

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Today has been an exhausting day at work. With five client consultations where two of them were new patients, my head was so overloaded at the end of the day that I actually had an headache, something I normally don`t get. In between the sessions, people came into my office with urgent matters. Another patient had started drinking again and we tried to reach him by telephone in case he needed to be an inpatient. Then a social worked contacted me after a conversation she had with a patient we have, unsure about what to do now. I did not come with any useful suggestions, as I am not certain what the next steps should be. In addition I also had to get some things for the city marathon on Saturday, so in the end I had to work longer than I should have.

Thankfully, when I came home, I had a 15 minute run. I am proud to say 15 minutes is quite an accomplishment, since I normally give up whenever I find an excuse. But when I keep on running, it gets better.

Now I feel good. The head-ache is completely gone, but I still think about my day at work. Since I started working with psychosis I have felt like I`m walking on thin ice. I have almost no experience, and yet dont know what questions I should ask or how I can move forward in a conversations. Some of the conversations are even a bit confusing, since they often have thoughts they have problems with explaining, or speak in an unorganized way. The contrast to my other patients is huge, so it is getting some time to get used to.

But, it has also been an interesting experience, and I am learning so much. About their deep fear, about how their minds try to organize the chaos inside. Out comes symbolic hallucinations, and sometimes delusions that might be a last resort for them to find meaning in the voices, or the feeling they have of somebody planting thoughts in their had. I have immense respect for their fight to get a better life, and my collages are equally amazing. So empathic, understanding and clever. That makes it easier, because I can talk with them about my uncertainties when I feel I have no idea about what I`m doing.

Time to get to bed, but I just needed to let out some steam.

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Making cards when I need to relax
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Protected: The dreamseller

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Wake up

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A good friend of me writes poems, and I liked one of them so much that I asked him if I could publish it. To my joy, he said yes. The poem was written to a friend of him who has struggled. It speaks of dreams, and everything that is important in life.

You wanna wake up,

To hear your loved ones,

To see them when you can,

To make them happy,

To see the cuteness of your niece,

To be teased by your siblings,

To be loved by your parents,

To be cared by your friends,

Share joyous time with them.

You wanna wake up,

To live your dreams,

To travel the world,

To wear that red dress and many more,

To feel beautiful,

To spread the happiness hidden deep within,

To dance like no one’s watching.

You wanna wake up,

To feel the magic in the world,

To see the bright flowers that make you glow,

To hear chirping birds that give you peace,

To breathe the fresh air deep into your lungs,

To admire the beauty of Bergen time and again.

You wanna wake up,

To sip chai latte by Bryggen,

To eat your fav food ;),

To stroll on the mountains,

To take a dip in the cold sea,

To sun bathe and feel some color,

To be pampered with food n massage.

You wanna wake up,

For the house you want to be in,

To make it cozy as you wish within,

To spend your evenings in your own made bliss,

To get your cute dog and stroll around with,

To become happy go lucky as you really are.

You wanna wake up,

To make that cunning cutie pie face of yours,

For those late night candy shopping strolls,

Watch new girl and laugh heartily,

Watch modern family and feel the emotion.

You wanna wake up,

Trust me on that,

I know you do,

I see those eyes have little dreams,

They wanna live it to the fullest

Home is where the heart is

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The moon is hanging in the sky, looking down at my hometown. Jølster, a beautiful spot on the Norwegian map, sits under the blanket of stars, almost touching the sky with its mountain tops.

It’s eastern, and that means finally spending time with my family. We’ve eaten dinner and played board games, laughing and talking. I’ve made some songs while playing on the piano and taken a walk, watching the glittering snow relaxing on the ground. The only thing that’s been irritating me is how changed the landscape has become. Scarred by excavators eating away the green fields, have made Jølster unrecognizable. Hopefully this will lead to better roads eventually, but right now my home place has turned into a troll.

My psychologist heart tries to convince me that I shouldn’t focus on this. Instead it reminds me how lucky I am. I get to be with my loved ones and create new memories. That’s all that matters.

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Demons and angels

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Writing my book

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It’s been a while since I’ve been written here. That’s not a bad thing, since my priorities has been elsewhere. In October I started writing a book, concentrating on writing for half an hour each day. It’s been a new experience to finally knit a story together, seeing it becoming a book by taking one step at a time. The next weeks will be devoted to check for spelling mistakes and correct things, and then I finally will have a book created by me.

Other than that I’ve read a lot, and work has been more relaxed since I have been in a process of changing who I work with. I will work with psychosis and will be a group therapist, so I’m currently reading and learning a lot. I still have some trauma-patients, and like that. In my heart I never want to quit working with trauma, and I think that will be achievable. Patients who have been psychotic often have been traumatized as well.

That will be all for now! Hope all my readers are doing well, and I would love to hear from you!