The sound of empty life

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The sound of feeling empty is silent

For me, emotions have meaning. Me and my mother loved watching sappy movies together, and that must have been when I learned how life CAN be: Full of tragedy. But it can also be get better, at the end. I learned: No matter how bad and sad it is, it will eventually work out fine. Maybe that`s why I never have run away from love, because I would rather hurt than not feel anything at all. I have sought emotions actively, and now I am so lucky I get to work with it, every day as a psychologist. I get touched by how people fight, I get a bit mad when I hear how unfair someone has been treated (but containing it, like psychologists must do) and feel energetic at the end of the day. I cheer and yell inside when someone accomplish a change they wanted. This change can be finally saying the unsaid, crying in front om someone they think will hate them, or feeling depression lifting, just a bit.

 

Kill Bill vol.1 (2003) Quentin Tarantino
Change is not the hard part, once you start it`s possible to do a lot.
But first: Wiggle your big toe.

 

Even if it might feel small to them, it`s big if you think about it. It`s like one of my supervisors said when I was at the neurorehabilitation clinic: Even if wiggling a little toe, can sound like a small thing, it’s really amazing, because it means the hard work led to something that wasn`t before. It’s a step in the right direction, and that memory can never be taken from you. I feel that way, every time my patient do something new; If they choose not to overeat, if they open their mouth to say they are afraid, if the stop drinking one of 4 days. It doesn`t mean that everything will be good, but it means it is potential there, and potential means hope. Hope is the most wonderful thing, if no one believed the “impossible” where would we be today?

 

I am not afraid of emotions. Of course there can be too much of it at times, but if someone shout at me over the phone, I rather try to see it from that persons side (is it easier to be mad than to show vulnerability?) than to run and hide. People seeking help, are doing just that. They want something to change, and I can help them if they want to. The have already taken the first step, they are tired of running and hiding and want to face whatever ghosts they tried to leave behind. When they finally do, they are heroes, each and every one of them. My job is to understand the hardship of this struggle, and try to give them the best veapons available.

I have to let them go their way, but I can show them what I think. I can say it is okay to try even if it`s scary. I can encourage and share the pain with them, because I know personally that it`s worth it.

The thoughts so far remind me of one of my favorite movies; The bothersome man.
It’s about a man “doomed” to live in a place where no feelings exist, no good ones and no bad ones either. ( http://politfilm.wordpress.com/2012/10/20/the-bothersome-man) This turns out to be a nightmare, and honestly, I do agree. If I didn`t feel how good it can be to have a cup of tea after a busy day, what`s the point? I actually feel symptahy for people who because of some reason or another, simply are numb, and don`t have any feelings. A lot of people getting medication worry about this, and sometimes I really can see the argument. If we get better and better at removing all bad emotions, will the good be removed too? Will we stop caring for the world at all? Be completely indifferent?

If we never got “mirrored” when we feel anger, sadness or other feelings, we can develop holes that are harder to heal than bruises on the outside. Without feelings, there is no fuel. No fuel that propel us towards the goal of a better world.

261bc6e05ee2ba1569d880385fdb763f
Climbing is meaningful, even if it hurts in the beginning

http://phil-blogs.blogspot.no/2010/01/bothersome-man.html

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9 thoughts on “The sound of empty life

    curatedknowledge said:
    June 29, 2013 at 15:34

    This is excellent. Sometimes it’s so hard to separate life and it’s experience from negativity, particularly with tragedy. I love the fact that this post is so positive and the images are so representative of your thoughts and exactly how i feel about them. šŸ˜€

      mirrorgirl responded:
      June 29, 2013 at 15:36

      People learn, one step at the time, how to make meaning of their lifes. Mine has been a long journey, but I am so happy with every step, even if I thought several times that I just can`t do it anymore. I love that you have come to the same conclusion, and I hope it is as meaningful to you as it is for me!

        curatedknowledge said:
        June 29, 2013 at 15:41

        Absolutely. Every single step can be remarkable if you view it that way. I think people are reluctant to apply that meaning to each step because they undervalue their achievement. But trust me, your reflection on this is very much meaningful!

        mirrorgirl responded:
        June 29, 2013 at 15:44

        I loved the post about how you interpreted your father. Mine was also always a bit silent and mysterious, but with his heart on the right place. I also agree with the reluctance, and like you I think that might be part of the reason. I also think some of it is fear, lack of knowledge our time eaten up by our hectic day. Have also written a post about this (lets change the world) where I discuss cognitive dissonance. Have you seen the blog I have just started? forfreepsychology.wordpress.com
        Am looking for bloggers who like to write, maybe you would like to have one of your posts there? I can make you co-author, in that case šŸ™‚

        curatedknowledge said:
        June 29, 2013 at 15:55

        That would be awesome, I’d be honoured. I just checked out the blog. So good, i’m a huge fan of Myer Briggs when interpreted with logic as well as being an ENFJ and the stuff about neglecting myself. Pretty much bang on for stuff I like to read and also write about. Let me know what I can contribute, i’m more than willing! It took me a rather long period of time to recognise the emotional neglect of my childhood (by my biological father and stepmother), and culminated in an intense conversation with Dad (my stepdad) and acknowledgement of his huge value and love he gave to me with the change of my surname to his. I can totally relate to your content. Once again!

        mirrorgirl responded:
        June 29, 2013 at 16:37

        Sound perfect, you can send your email to forfreepsychology@gmail.com, and I will invite you from the blog! Emotional neglect is often hard to recognize, and for that reason often harder to live with. Much easier to find sympathy when you have a bruise from a violent father. Really nice to have found your blog šŸ™‚

        curatedknowledge said:
        June 29, 2013 at 15:43

        Just a quick one, would you mind if i reference this post in my next one? šŸ˜€

    The sound of shifting perspective | Mirrorgirl said:
    September 1, 2013 at 16:46

    […] Some minds are naturally more flexible than others. They consist of a social bunch of nerve-cells that love to connect with fat-shrouded cells from a variety of areas. They are not afraid of flying, even if they risk falling. To not make a mess, like an enraged cook who takes everything he sees and throws it blindly into the frying pan would do, their cell-knotsĀ are balanced carefully.Ā It is not a raucous party where fuses burst, but more a happy gathering on a calm beach. Maniacs and schizophrenic`s can have these moments, when the cells learns how to pull the safety pin and put on the air-condition when they need to.Ā The most energetic of them might needĀ to beĀ reigned in fromĀ stress with proper use of medication or a balanced lifestyle.Ā Emotions can be a harbor of joy when we discover their potential, […]

    The sound of release | Mirrorgirl said:
    October 20, 2013 at 16:54

    […] others. Since I didn`t know how people would react, I felt nervous, and even if I normally loveĀ feelingsĀ the nervousness was still strong enough to make me postpone writing. I am proud that I did manage […]

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