Psychological research has had a tendency to study negative effects of behavior both on the individual and cultural level. But new research has started to focus more on the positive aspects of behavior. I like this shift, as I think it will change how we interact with the world. In one TED talk I watched, scientists were studying genetic superhumans. That is, people with genetic ‘flaws’ that has proven to give these people abilities normal people don’t have. By getting more knowledge about these ‘superhumans’ we are also a step closer to knowing which environmental, psychological and biological factors contribute to their genetic make-up.
Humans in a big crowd have an inclination to behave the same way. It is difficult to resist the force of it. This is why people, who ordinarily are sensible, can do things that they regret afterwards . It is also the reason people who normally are harmless can become violent.
If I could do a study as a researcher, I would want to look at how positive mass-suggestion could affect us . Let’s for fun’s sake call it a social media experiment. If every person shared the research hypothesis I’m about to present with one person, it would be interesting to see what would happen next.
My hypothesis would be something like: Can we by mass-suggestion, make people around the world do the same thing on the same day?
For example I could propose that the 30th of september, every one of us tried to do one random act of kindness. What do you think would happen? Could it affect us all in a positive way?
The date could be set one year in advance to make sure that many get the message, but as information can spread like fire in the right circumstances maybe it would not be necessary to wait that long.
So, would somebody be interested in an experiment like that? What can each and all of us do by simply being kind towards others?
I am a 29-year-old girl from Norway where I work as a psychologist. On my free time I love to read, travel and experience new things. I also like taking photos and creative activities like scrapbooking and decoupage. My personality? For those of you who know the BIG 5 personality test, I am high on Openness, Conscientiousness, middle on agreeable and on extroversion/introversion. It basically means that I`m a flexible person, work hard, usually don`t make a fuss and love to be with others, while also needing to be alone to think and calm down. I also want to add that I love the Italian language, my family, Haruki Murakami, good music and my friends. I am VERY emotional, but calm when I have to be. Earlier I had a tendency to put other`s needs first, believing that I wasn`t worthy of any attention myself. Luckily I have grown in heart and mind since then, and learnt that being there for others mean taking care of your own needs first.
This blog is a blend of my personal story (called narrative or the sound of..) topics related to psychology and just random things I find interesting. I work daily as a clinical psychologist, and most of my clients have been abused and neglected in heartbreaking ways. Many of my posts will cover subjects related to trauma and dissociation. I am quite open and honest in my posts, because I believe it might make us psychologist less mysterious.
Most of the psychologist I know are kind, intelligent people. Some with their own stories, but all with a genuine wish to help. In this blog I want to share what I know about overcoming challenges and following your dreams.
Since more and more people have started to read this blog, I unfortunately found it necessary to password protect some of my more personal posts. If you want to read them, feel free to contact me at email@example.com. I am also on twitter (@ninjafighter), instagram and Facebook. I also have two other blogs that are dedicated to psychology and the “Kindness project” that I started one year ago, You find them here: Free psychology and The kindness project.
I started my blog three years ago, and it has grown so fast I almost can`t believe it. I am really proud of it, and grateful because I have made new friends and found other blogs that I like.
I want to thank all my readers and offer some encouragement to everyone who suffers or have done so in the past. I have been in the deepest valleys myself, and felt emotional pain so intense that I was afraid of it.
I hope this blog might prove that the fight for a better life is worth it.
Today I learnt to make a Christmas calendar. It was so much fun, and the hours flew away. I started at 11.00 a clock and finished at 20.00, and the hard work was worth it. To find an activity that makes you forget time, is important. We all need to wind down, and making things is my guilty pleasure. What is yours ?
It’s been 17 years since you died. Every year, I’m reminded of it. The 25th of October you left this world after being hit by a car. You flew through the air, and I wonder: What were your last thoughts? Did you realize this would be your last seconds? That you never would see your family and friends again?
Who would you be today, if you were still here? You were only 16. We talked about moving in together when I was 16, because we needed to spend as much time together as possible. You always made me smile, no matter how bad my day was. But after you died, smiling was harder. For years there was only blackness. When I saw other friends, it did not feel right, because I knew there never would be another you. Nobody could replace you, no one understood me as well as you did. You loved me to bits, and it was mutual.
I don’t know if there is a life after this. I’ve pondered that possibility since you died. To never see you again, feels terrible. I hope you are sitting on a cloud, watching over me. Are you sad? Sad because you had so many dreams that never will come true?
I’ve felt guilty for years. Why did I survive when you didn’t? I’ve been in two car accidents, but I’m still here. You were at the wrong place at the wrong time, and that feels unfair. You were loved by so many people, and you always saw the good in everyone around you. I’ve tried to keep that in mind, to bring it with me whenever I encounter new people. I am blessed to have known you.
Are you proud of me? Did I manage to become the person you hoped I would become?
17 years later, and I can still see your face and hear your voice when I close my eyes. The memories we shared are so precious to me, and I can’t and won’t ever forget you.
The following days will be hard. 17 years ago I lost my best friend. She was hit by a car and died immediately. I was only 15 and it turned my world upside down. Grief doesn’t stop, it’s always there with you. And I’m glad. It means I have loved and cared about somebody deeply.
For years I was afraid of becoming too attached to people. I feared they would leave me behind. But I couldn’t resist. I’ve loved a lot of people, even if they have left me behind and broken my heart.
I expect the following days will be hard, but I will get through it. I will be with people I love and appreciate that they’re in my life. Life is all about relationships, and when my best friend died, I really understood that fully.
It’s been a long time since I’ve written. Mostly because I’ve been busy in my new job and with suddenly having a new family to adjust into.
When I started working clinically with adults again, it felt like coming home. The only worry was that I just had a contract for one year, so I was nervous about if I would get a permanent job. I really love it here, there a so many experienced therapists and in addition to that, many group therapies for different diagnoses. When I started, I was asked if I wanted to try to be a group therapist myself, something I was really excited about. This fall, I got the chance to be a therapist together with two other colleagues, and I have already learnt so much. The group is for patients with PTSD, and we work after a manual that focus on stabilization and education about trauma. To see how healing it is for traumatized individuals to meet others who struggle with the same symptoms as they do, has been a revelation. Logically, I know how good it must feel to meet others in the same situation as yourself, but seeing it with my own eyes is uplifting. I can almost see the light in the group members eyes when they emotionally feel that their reactions might be normal based on what they’ve been through.
In August, I had another interview with my leader, after I applied for a permanent job here. On my birthday, my leader came into my office and delivered the good news: I got the job! So now I know I can be here as long as I want, and it feels amazing. My leader told me that they wanted to transfer me to working with psychosis, something I haven’t done much in the past. But I look forward to it. I have met people with schizophrenia before, and those I’ve talked with are often fascinating people with many resources. I also have a soft spot for them since my grandfather had schizophrenia, and he was one of the kindest human beings I’ve ever met.
It will be a bit sad to say goodbye to the patients I’ve having now, but I’m ready for new tasks and new challenges. I’ve always liked to learn more, and this is a chance to work with the system around the patients, and working in a team with experienced therapists who love what they do.
So, even if it’s always scary to start with something new, I am ready to grow and learn.